Imagine there was a map… to this seemingly random madness we all experience, called Life.
I am not saying there is, for it is not scientifically proven – think of it more like a theory. A grand unified theory of personal development, explaining the stages of human identitity, that constitutes the evolution of our ego.
It is a theory like the ones Newton or Einstein had, before they were proven.
In the past 15 years I have personally worked with over 1000 people in crisis. Articles & videos in my native Hungarian language have helped over 100 000 men and women, and have to yet see an exception from the three defining milestones that are: 1) The Crash, 2) Rock Bottom, 3) Leap of Faith.
The Human Journey
- humans evolve in phases
- between the phases we undergo transformation
- transformation is commonly experienced as crisis (lack of understanding)
- the phases result from one another (cause and effect)
- there is no going back
The following stages can be thought of as jumps of consciousness. Tackling the milestones every few years results in radical expansion of our belief system (worldview) – that bring about “dimension leaps” of our mind.
We are on an ever lasting quest for Truth, that is the Journey of Life.
The task is discovering our full potential by experiencing our Self, with Carl Gustav Jungs words: “integrating our shadow”.
I. The Matrix
Life 1.0 starts with childhood. Children copy. We all start by copying patterns and dreams from our parents / role models. This is the first stage. The unconscious one. This is the “Coding” we get. People running the code of the patterns they copied in order to reach goals they believed is “The Matrix”. It is the age of Patterns and Dogmas.
Eventually we “hit enter” and realize this “coding” best we can in our 20s — chasing the dreams we adopted, using the patterns of behavior we copied. Some achive great success. Most don’t. It does not matter in the end, for we all reach the point where we realize that we are not happy despite the marriage, the kids, the house, and even monetary or societal success.
This is The Crash. For reference see movies like “Matrix” or “Fight Club”. New code is needed, for the old has failed us. “I am not sure I am happy”, is the first sign. When the question arises: “ Is this all that life is, or is there more to it?”.
As time passes this internal uneasiness grows into suffering. Forms of this are marital dramas, divorces, career crisis, burnout, addictions, depression, excessive spending, breakdown of physical health and even accidents.
Eventually we suffer enough to break – I can not live like this any longer – and this is when we “see the light”, “wake up” (see eastern traditions). The search begins. Many call this Midlife Crisis, but in fact it is Midlife Transformation. The worm strated a cocoon, but does not yet know how to be a butterfly…
“Be you happy!” is the invitation. No one can resist the lure of the “Dark Side”, the Songs of the “Sirens”. Winter is coming.
II. The Quest
Life 2.0 is the time of “midlife transformation”, that can be great suffering or a Joyous Quest depending on the individual embracing or resenting it. People seek a Leader and a Path. There are many paths, ancient and modern, some of these are: therapy, religion, youga, astrology and there are many many more. The leader is often dead. But the example is relevant, the teaching rings true.
The paths all lead into the depth, our own soul, to the truth. The truth is THE answer. The answer to the two big questions “Who am I?” & “What is the meaning of all this?”. Turns out the answer is the same. Purpose. It turns out we really are “chosen”. Everybody is. We are all Neo and Jedi and Odysseus. Not just man but woman as well. All men are chosen. Purpose awaits.
Thus we reach the deepest point of the lake, the darkest middle of the forest where we find a “shining pearl”, a “sword only I can remove”, that is: a worthy goal, and thus: meaning. This gives us hope and a sense of value, that helps us “come back from the dead”, “rise back” to life as a “new person”, be “reborn”. Seeking our purpose yields us Direction, thus we return to “real life”.
This stage is the journey can be described as “The Valley of Fear “, “Deep Sea of Desire”, “Dark Forest of Lost Directions”, “Desert of Radical Freedom”. It is a crucial part, that is a rite of passage we have to pass or die.
III. New Life
Life 3.0 starts with the “Leap of Faith”, that is a moment in time, when our conviction of the Right Path – what I have to now do in life – is strong enough to risk everything we achieved thus far. Not just monetarily, but locations, relationships and family as well.
This New Life – the “new person”, after being “reborn”, “coming back from the dead” – is defined by a purpose, a strong conviction thereof. And success. The daily experience is that I am finally useful, serving a purpose, for I have found meaning, and thus I am contributing value to others, building a legacy.
It is a feeling of being chosen for something.
Other way to talk about all this is that tehere is a dimanond in everybodys soul, that we first need to find (this is the way down into the depths of our souls, removing dirt and rock and illusions and desires and flaws, perfecting our “materia”, aiming at the “prima materia”), and then diligently polish (the way up, removing surface imperfections through intense rubbing with other diamonds/souls through shared experiences along meaningful goals).
You are chosen.
We can only evolve through taking responsibility for our life.
Start by being honest.
Anywhere with anybody.
Physics of the Soul
To efficiently use the map there are also instructions, “laws” of the human journey, like physics of the soul:
- suffering results from not doing what one should [resisting change]
- not doing results from fear [the emergent human condition]
- fear results from being wrong about ourselves & the world [lack of truth]
- fear can be reduced by understanding [the right attention]
- in order to understand we need to speak truth [embrace imperfection]
- honesty about imperfections [brave vulnerability] evokes instant help
- lack of truth [mistaken knowledge] can be corrected by experiences
- growing clarity results in bravery “overflowing” into doing [right action]
- real purpose ignites enthusiasm, empowers, unites [births a movement]
- no worthwhile goal can be achieved by a single person [we seek union]
- a person can only find lasting peace by working in a movement [union]
- happiness is a byproduct of constant evolution [traversing the Journey]
The Man’s Journey
For men purpose is eventually found in a Worthy Fight, that is a Cause to enrich other humans. Who’s life do you want to make better and how? Men embrace service. Findig our true self, unleashing our potential, resulting in exponential personal growth. Purpose is always a team effort. It needs more complementing talents. And also: the Fighting Man needs the safe harbor of a Strong Woman, the Hero needs an Lady, the King needs a Queen.
Thus the stages of the male journey we observe to be the following:
The Woman’s Journey
For women purpose is often first found in a Fight — cause, idea, project –, similar to man. One can talk of the “Goddess” stage of women that is in fact about being a female King. However more often than not women burn out in the fights of the world, and eventually seek a Worthy Man, a Hero they can fight together with. The Queen needs a King. Both are defined by a cause, that is their Purpose, while their “country” is the people they together serve.
Thus the female journey we observed to be significantly different from man:
The theory came about through observation. I started blogging about my personal life experiences in 2005 — being honest about how badly I f… up my life as a failed .com entrepreneur — and people strarted to connect and share. Milestones kept repeating in the stories. And then I started to see how these are ever-present, in ancient tales as well as the Matrix or the Star Wars.
Thus the theory is based on personal experiences, ancient myths, the works of Homer, Dante and Jung, as well as the symbolisms of the folk tales.
I never intended to create a map of life, it just came about. I do not think it is new. Just a current — updated — explanation of what has always been.
The original (and much more detailed) version of the map looks like this:
A later simplification is as follows:
I wrote two books on this – and a third is on its way, set to be translated to English.
You can compare the Human Journey to the “Hero’s Journey”, except:
- it is linear, not circular – you do not get back to the “normal” world, like in the Hero’s Journey, but you arrive in the Real World, like in the Matrix
- man and woman are considered differently – we are of equal value, but our journey differs greatly, the phases of our path to happiness are opposing
- it is much more detailed – based on 15 years of practice and over a 1000 life-stories of real life relationship and career sufferings of real people
- it is not just about the person, but relationships: Community, Intimate, Work, Faith, with Self – all change significantly as we traverse the Journey
Ego Yoga is a personal development method to help you move faster on the Human Journey, through identifying (A) your current position, (B) next milestone to thrive for, (C) obsolete baggage to get rid of. It boosts understanding through detailed explanations, nurtures new experiences through action oriented courses and provides a mentoring network through community of “change-of-lifers” traversing the Journey. Ego Yoga successfully dissolves darkness, helps to overcome fear, cope with challenges. [HU]
Organizational Yoga is an organizational development approach for (1) better understanding the personal conditions of the individuals the org consist of, (2) better addressing challenges they experience in their relationship to work, their peers and the workplace, (3) better understande organizational and leadership challenges resulting from the organization itself moving down the path of organizational maturity stages.
A personal note
I need your help.
The reason for me to publish here today is to let you know such a theory exists, and to ask for your help.
Please let me know if (A) you know of a similar model already in existence in English laguage, that is (B) efficiently used for helping people advance.
It is of utmost importance to me for you to please comment if you know of a similar approach. I have been working on this for 10 years, made several hundred videos in Hungarian explaining more and more details. It is a big decision for me to lean into elaborating in English, that you can help. It is a decision about the next 10 years of my life. I will have to embark on a much more detalield English language explanation if there is no such thing yet, to share content, make videos, build trust and connections. All of which is not needed, if others are aleady pursuing a similar cause.
Update (May 2022)
I still don’t see anything similar in the world, but I gave myself time with regards to English content. Will get there eventually.